Mentor Note #136

Mentor Note:

"Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes - including you." - Anne Lamott

Lets Dive in...

Hello Reader,

I can't believe it's April, I feel like the year is moving so fast.

So far this year has taught me something I want to pass directly to you.

Not from a book or a course, something I'm learning right in the middle of a season that asked more of me than I anticipated, and gave me back something I didn't expect.

Here it is:

The most powerful thing you can do in a room that doesn't respect you - is hold still.

I have spent most of my life being the most prepared person in the room.

The one who did the work, who showed up early, who knew the brief, understood the industry, and could see ten steps ahead of everyone else at the table.

And for most of my life, when that competence was met with resistance, with passive aggression, with people who responded to my authority by trying to diminish it, I would step up and be that girl trying to prove herself, and make sure everyone in the room understood exactly what I brought.

I thought that was strength.

But this year, I've had an old dynamic show up in my life and it has become so obvious to me how much I have grown personally.

Strength - real strength, is knowing your worth so deeply, that you no longer need to perform it for anyone.

It is backing away from the bait and holding still when everything in you wants to fight. It's also choosing not to spend your energy proving yourself to people, who have already decided what they think of you.

It is trusting, at the deepest level, that what you know about yourself is enough. Without needing anyones, confirmation, validation or the need for their respect.

That trust? That is the work of 25 years.

And this year, finally - I felt it hold.

Here's what I want you to understand about holding still.

It is not passive, it is not giving up and it is not letting people walk over you.

It is the most active, deliberate, energetically intelligent choice you can make.

Because when you stop spending energy proving yourself to the wrong people - something extraordinary happens.

That energy comes back to you.

And you get to decide where it goes next.

For me, it is going to London on May 31st. Yes!! yay, I have a gig with Bardot at Mighty Hoopla London. I'm focused on getting ready for the gig, and then to turning 50 in a way that honours every single season it took to get here.

Not performing for anyone.

Just living, fully and finally on my own terms.

That is what holding still makes possible.

Not shrinking, not disappearing, not giving in.

Creating space for what's actually yours.

The wrong rooms will always try to make you smaller. The wrong people will always mistake your stillness for weakness. Let them (as Mel Robbins Says)

You know what it actually is.

It is you, saving your best self for the places and the people that deserve you.

The Takeaway

You do not need to prove yourself in every room. Some rooms are simply not built for you, and the sooner you stop performing for them, the sooner you find the ones you belong in.

Holding still is not weakness, it is the most sophisticated form of self-leadership there is.

Your energy is finite, but your worth is not up for negotiation.

Something to Try

This week, identify one place in your life where you are spending energy trying to prove yourself to someone who has already decided what they think of you.

Ask yourself honestly:

What would I do with that energy if I stopped spending it here?

Then, just for this week - hold still.

Don't defend, don't explain and don't perform.

Just notice what comes back to you when you do.

I appreciate you!

Until next week,

Much love,

Sally xx

“Mentor Notes is designed to inspire reflection, growth, and action in your creative life" - Sally Polihronas

PO Box 805, DARLINGHURST, NEW SOUTH WALES 1300​
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